girl help the eldritch horrors are organising a pride and prejudice party and making us dance to mirror their forbidden and repressed love. yes there is a michael jackson thriller video reenactment outside trying to get in. no yeah i still want that rare doctor who annual
i have watched the kiss scene and the breakup as a whole more times than i can count and my brain is still trying to process all the things it picked up on.
my newest painful obsession: aziraphale thought crowley came back for him.
they kiss, aziraphale says i forgive you and instead condemns them both, crowley leaves. the lip touching itself is fucking essay worthy because holy SHIT the amount of micro expressions flickering across his face is endless, michael sheen acted his ass off.
i think it’s a mixture of surprise, unspoken love, a HEAVY dose of fear, disbelief, and oh my god what did he just do what did i just do. he turns away from the door and we get a very very quick shot of how exactly he is angled.
standing up straight with faked spiteful anger, the same anger he spit at crowley out of fear and insecurity, chin up, clearly waiting for something - or rather someone. we gotta remember that every single time crowley has left aziraphale, he came back. every. single. time. he came back and apologized, that’s what they do.
crowley comes back and aziraphale forgives him and they continue bearing their silence.
the bell rings when the door opens again, just like it did when crowley left, and just. look at his face. how quickly he swivels around. the blink and you will miss it spark of hope.
and then the pure devastation when he realizes it’s not crowley.
aziraphale thought crowley was coming back for him. he was WAITING for him to come back. even after all that, he couldn’t imagine crowley actually leaving him behind, especially not after that kiss and his entire indirect love confession.
just like crowley thought for a tiny heartbeat that aziraphale was kissing him back, aziraphale hoped, hell, he fucking thought he KNEW crowley would never abandon him. not after “i could always rely on you. you could always rely on me.” aziraphale has taken him for granted, of course he thought it was him coming through the door.
but that spark of hope gets stomped out beneath the metatrash’s feet and he fully turns around, unable to face him and the reality of it all.
this time, he went too far.
this time, crowley did not want forgiveness.
he was about to say i love you and turned it into i forgive you, still clinging to their old ways, their old rituals, just that they are no longer those beings, no longer in that specific relationship. everything has changed.
they both thought the other would never abandon them. turns out they were both wrong.
Next time transphobes call trans healthcare “experimental” you can show them this
ALT
penicillin was first discovered in 1928; vaginoplasty is less experimental
ibuprofen was first discovered in 1961; phalloplasty and HRT are less experimental
Adderall was first applied as an ADHD treatment in 1994; puberty blockers are less experimental
would also like to note that every single one of these procedures and treatments has been through rigorous testing usually both on animal models and humans in order to be approved as safe and effective by the FDA and not a single one is considered experimental. just in case anyone tries to be like “well HPV vaccines and Adderall are also bad”
So I ended up with free time at the end of my first class today, so I was like “do yall wanna see a vintage meme?” and turned on “what does the fox say”. Expected like. A laugh from the kids, or even just a “wtf is this mx?” which is. A reasonable reaction to What Does The Fox Say.
But instead of a reasonable reaction. all of my students watched the first 60 seconds with jaws agape. And then this one kids turns to me like the fucking eye of Sauron and literally goes:
My husband told me I also should share the next part of this story, where I, feebly trying to defend my honor against a child, said, “No, this video was just big when I was in college!” and he scoffed, rolled his eyes, and absolutely obliterated me by saying, “So did you go to furry college?”
To everyone pointing out my icon: do I have a fursona? Yes. Does that make me a furry? Almost definitely. Do you admit that to a 12 year old who has just accused you of being a furry, in front of 23 other 12 year olds, with 25 instructional days left in the year? Absolutely THE FUCK not!!!
I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache